“Conquering fear is not based on blocking your sensitivity. Otherwise, you become a deaf and dumb monarch, a jellyfish king. Sitting on a horse requires balance, and as you acquire that balance in the saddle, you have more awareness of the horse. So when you sit in the saddle on your fickle horse, you feel completely exposed and gentle. If you feel aggressive, you don’t have a good seat."
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
The opposite of gentleness is aggression. We see that aggression is hostile or violent behavior – the attitude that you are ready to attack or confront someone in order to control a situation. That sort of attitude is unnatural when you remember that “we are all one”.
We are all likely to behave with animalistic behaviors when we are hurt, pushed into a corner, uncertain about ourselves and feel that our survival is threatened.
But, in this day and age, aggression although frequently used, isn’t very helpful. It usually makes things worse and amps the anger. And you feel all swollen and breathless after you’ve used it.
Gentleness, when used at the right time without deprecation, is appreciated in a way that is startling. We all know that we don’t like being out of control, and gentleness is a way to reinstate our choices. When gentleness is extended, it infers that we are not perceived as worthless. Just the opposite! When we are confronted with a gentle response to our aggressive behavior, we feel doused with loving attention and a second chance.
Another strength is Ethics. Your personal moral code can inform you as to whether or not you can defend your actions. In other words your dictates of conscience. Are you doing what is right? What is not only good for you and your pursuits, but what is for the common good? If amplified, would your deed greatly benefit mankind or harm it? When you know that your actions and words are crafted to benefit all, this creates confidence.
Gentleness when coupled with firmness based in Ethics can create Fearlessness. As we said before, the concept of “riding" with firmness in your ability to act ethically and gently gives you the ability to choose to accept or to ignore someone's aggression. And that can create a confidence in your own behavior, your own choices and direction.